Recently Jeremiah Tower wrote a book called Table Manners: How to behave in the Modern World and Why Bother. I praise Jeremiah for writing this book because I also believe it is so important to have good manners while dining. It is so sad to watch so many diners in their homes, at restaurants and events being so crude in devouring their meals. Some of my pet peeves are wearing baseball hats at the table; leaning their body over the table to reach food, using knives to overload forks so that they drop part of the food before it reaches their mouth. Another non-favorite is appearing late at the table after others have already started, then quickly devouring their food and leaving the table while others have barely begun. Exhibiting good table manners should be at ever meal, even if it’s casual at a hamburger stand or at home for breakfast.
I also strongly agree with Mr. Tower that practicing good table manners will get you ahead in your job, with your business associates, lovers, friends and whomever. It is part of that overall impression you make on others. Good manners will certainly make your mother happy. It’s too bad our previous generations understood the importance but the newer generations choose to ignore their parent’s training.
In my family I have the reputation of being the “table czar.” At big family gatherings, with both young and older family members present, for years I insist on basic good dining manners. In years past I was heavily criticized for my table rules. Serving dishes are only passed counter-clockwise, wine and other glasses properly placed, even for “lefties,” no one leaves before the dinner is declared finished, etc. Now, it is amazing to me how most all totally accept the rules while dining at my home and in fact help to enforce the manners. My eight-year old granddaughters enjoy setting the perfect table, right down to name cards and centerpieces. And they are proud of it when complete. And I am proud of them because of their manners when we go to a restaurant or formal banquet for a wedding or other event.
Properly setting the table is as important as one’s manners while dining. First, it sets the mood for the dinner making it a more enjoyable experience. In my book, Miziker’s Complete Event Planning Handbook I spend a lot of pages talking about how to set the table for casual dinners as well as various degrees of more formal dinning. I believe this is so important for Event Planners, because often I’ve seen poorly trained staff at hotels and other venues do a very poor job of table setting. Certainly this reflects on you the Planner if it is not noticed and corrected.
It seems the need to teach good table manners is being recognized. I was shocked a few months ago when walking across a college campus. There was an A-frame sign in front of the Student Union inviting all to a special class in table manners. While surprised I was also very pleased that the need recognized and they were doing something about it. Opening the Costco Connection Magazine mailed to our homes they dedicated an entire page to table setting complete with pictures and the suggestion for a making a chart of the proper place setting and placing it for easy reference inside a cupboard door!
Yep, manners matter!
RM
